Deacon Jen Smidt

By way of introduction, let me answer 3 simple questions:

Who was I? I was a CA born, MT raised second oldest child in a large family. I was a sexually abused 4-year-old whose body and soul were stirred at far too young an age. I was confused about my identity — am I really a dirty little girl, or am I truly a precious daughter of my Heavenly Father whom I love so much? How can I possibly be both? I was a college-educated, promiscuous young woman who desperately wanted to believe that I could be loved.

The question “Who was I?” received it’s complete and final answer in the crucifixion of Jesus. I was a hurting sinner who nailed Jesus to the cross.

Who am I? I am a happily-married woman, pleased to be experiencing great redemption and uninhibited passion in my marriage to Pastor Phil. I am a mom to 3 great kids whom I have the privilege (and duty) of discipling and nurturing. I am a teacher to my home-schooled kids and alongside Phil, to the engaged couples at Ballard. I am a passionate woman who is opinionated and arrogant at times. I am a sinner, having used my outspoken ways to promote worship of me. I am made righteous, choosing to believe that redemption does not necessarily mean silence and invisibility. Instead, I am using my gifts for His glory alone and not mine. I am a fighter — I believe God put spunk in me to do battle with Satan over the lies he whispers to us women.

The question, “Who am I?” is best answered in Christ’s justification of me — His death makes me free and clean TODAY. I am secure in my standing before a perfect and Holy God — despite my ongoing sin — because of the blood of Christ.

Who am I becoming? I am becoming a woman who risks sharing the deepest pains of my past and the ugly reality of my current sin because I have learned to boast in Christ. I am becoming a woman who is utterly dependent on God in every moment. I am becoming a woman who desires to inspire other women to a life of worship and joy. Because of His promises to complete the work He began in me and the ongoing sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit, I am becoming more and more like Christ.

You are invited along on the journey…

Jen is the wife of Pastor Phil Smidt and the mother of three children, ages 8, 11 and 12. She and her husband have been at Mars Hill for 13 years and together they teach the pre-marriage class at the Ballard campus.